


Anomalous

by fujinumasatorus



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, Questionable meeting, Unhealthy fixation, showhyung are in it but barely
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-27 19:04:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20051029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fujinumasatorus/pseuds/fujinumasatorus
Summary: “I was following you, yeah. It’s just.” He struggles to find a way to word what he wants to say without scaring him off further, after all, their first official encounter isn’t going well. “I wanted to talk to you.”“Why?”





	Anomalous

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there y'all, I'm back and doing my best with my second Monsta X fanfic. I've been trying hard to adjust my writing to get it where I really want so I really hope I did something good with this!
> 
> This is very loosely based on the concept photos for "Are You There" I just couldn't get over Kihyun in that black outfit so here we are

Changkyun first spots him as he’s searching for an album in the corner store. He’s sifting through the plastic cases, hearing a tap every time he flips one forward letting it collapse into another. All of the text, colors, fine details - they’re pretty, but not what he is searching for. He wants to find a different sound to inspire his bleak library, something not yet there. 

His eyes lift from the varicolored display and move to the front. Rather than find the counter, he catches sight of a man he’s never seen before through the glass windows. Black hair covers his head, from the way it’s styled Changkyun can see the shaved sides that flow like a gradient under the blow dried, long top. He sports an equally black outfit, trench coat completely covering his frame. 

He follows the curves of his face, from eyes, pointed nose, soft cheeks, down to his small lips. They’re red, possibly from the cold weather, though the man is so captivating he wonders if he added makeup to complete the striking look. 

Changkyun’s jaw goes slack. His palms get sweaty until he has to run them over his jeans to remove some of the perspiration. It takes the man all of ten seconds to walk by, but in that moment time slows. Like a pan shot in a movie scene, his eyes follow the entire way, never leaving the subject. He’s locked in place as he watches, feet heavy refusing to let him step away from the view. 

When the man is no longer in sight, he comes to. With records long forgotten, he heads for the front door. His feet move from his spot before his mind can process, knowing he wants to talk to him. 

The second he’s out of the shop, his eyes shift to the left hoping to catch sight of the beautiful man he had seen just seconds ago, but he’s gone. Changkyun falters, finding the entire street is empty, no traces of anyone behind. A passerby knocks into his shoulder amidst his confusion, taking him back to where he is on the street.

He doesn’t know where he disappeared to, but one thing is certain. He wants to see the man again.

-

Changkyun more or less returns to his methodical schedule. He must attend lectures, eat if he can afford to, attempt to get more than four hours of sleep. Even if yesterday’s unprompted discovery was something new, he has to continue with his days. 

Thoughts, though, of the encounter start linger in his mind when he has free moments. After he’s done with his classes, when he’s walking to the corner vending machine, in the middle of brushing his teeth, all the short moments where there’s nothing else to think.

Soon enough, he becomes immersed in thoughts of the man. As his lecture grows uninteresting, when he passes the record shop, when he finds himself without anything to do over the long weekend.

He can do little more than think, as to his disappointment, Changkyun doesn’t see him again the following day, nor the day after. He’s vanished without a trace. He knows he shouldn’t be surprised, considering it was the first time he had ever laid eyes on him, but he still finds himself restless. His image plagues his mind, filling in the empty mindspace where any focus is lost.

He has no clue where the man resides or spends his days, neither the slightest inkling of who he is at all. He only knows his appearance. With that, he takes a closer look at the students around him, but as predicted, he’s he finds no one. All of the faces he passes blur together, none staying in his mind longer than a second as soon as he notes they are all not the person he is searching for. 

No one holds the same presence he had, none strikes a chord in Changkyun’s core as he did. He had stood out so much compared to the dull crowd which inhabits the equally unremarkable and sparse town. Everything is too small, everyone uninteresting as they’ve grown complacent settling into a bleak puddle. 

Changkyun doesn’t spend too much time dwelling on that thought, as if he did, he’d have to admit he has followed suit and meshed into the bland arrangement all others have fallen into. But this new person - who has appeared out of thin air - captivates him. He doesn’t even know him, yet from one look, he has a feeling that the man would entirely tilt the axis of which he stands.

So he waits.

His days continue, “wake up” after a sleepless night, work through hygiene and skin care enough to feel clean, attend class. Then he’ll finish his day alone in his apartment, lie in bed until he can rest his mind and start the process over again.

It’s what he’s used to.

He’s in the corner market later one evening, staring at the front of the display of snacks. He debates whether or not to try something new from the typical stove top noodles he buys (he won’t, but it doesn’t stop him from taking the time to browse every time he walks in).

The shopkeeper passes by, an older man who knows Changkyun (and probably the entire town) by name. He converses with another employee, one he recognizes with how often he comes in and greets them both. He offers a respectful nod, which is returned, but other than that, he normally blocks out any sounds when he’s in public. With no headphones and the emptiness of the store of his current trip, there is nothing else to hear but their conversation. 

“They moved into the apartments downtown,” the owner says, tilting his head in the direction south of the store.

Changkyun’s ears perk up, suddenly curious. 

“When?”

“Three weeks ago. They haven’t caused any trouble, but my sister is wary. Who comes here around this time?”

He whistles low, heading shaking. “As long as they pay their rent on time and don’t cause any trouble I suppose I don’t see a problem, but tell her to keep an eye out.”

Changkyun follows them over the counter after hastily grabbing his usual package. The pair stops talking as they ring up his purchases. He can’t bring himself to ask about what they were discussing, it’s rude to eavesdrop, also it’s none of his business.

The cashier hands over his receipt, he gives a quick goodbye accepting he won’t get to hear anything more. The walk home he can’t help but wonder who they were talking about. Maybe Changkyun just wants to find a reason to connect the dots, to finally get some new information in his search. 

He unpacks the grocery bag, turns on the stove, and there the question remains. His mind is left to wander as he spoons through the dish until hours pass and he lays in bed, staring up at the grey ceiling fan. Three paddles turn slow, he watches them carefully, questions why he stares at them every night. There’s no excitement to him watching, not even any sort of remotely interesting spark, so his eyes grow heavy. 

The fan turns and turns until he’s taken from the monochrome roof of his bedroom, with a new image building in the distance.

A dark figure appears from a hazy mist, walks directly up to him as he stands in the middle of the sidewalk. He doesn’t know how he got there, but he’s at the record shop. An image of a shape and size similar to his own stands before him, but he can’t make out the picture. It’s hand reaches for him, he barely has time to react until it rests over his cheek. Little by little his own hand inches to grasp it, but he never gets the chance to.

As if he was the one to push it away, the figure disappears into a thick grey fog. He falls back, no one there to catch him. He’s left alone on the concrete, cold seeping into his palms.

Changkyun blinks his eyes open, gasps for his breath and finds the image of his ceiling back above him. He looks around the room, no one to his sides or front. When he looks up, the three blades continue to turn slowly.

-

Two weeks pass until Changkyun sees him again. 

He’s gotten out of his 11 am lecture and made way to a coffee shop a few blocks from his campus. It’s warm, compared to the snow gracefully stacking on the cement sidewalk. 

He seats himself into a corner - one next to an outlet, sets down his drink, and pulls out his laptop. The coffee warms his chest, brushing away the last lingers of the chill from outside. It’s neither bitter or overbearingly sweet as it lands on his tongue, a safe middle ground drenched in familiarity as with every other piece he’s surrounded himself with.

He has a writing assignment due in four days and he barely has any words down. Writer’s block is one thing, but he has to admit he has been distracted. All his previous works have been manually pumped out, no meaning no depth, just finished for the grade. But for this one, he can’t even seem to pull himself together long enough to do the same.

He glances at the clock, an hour has passed and nothing. He’s only managed to stiffen up and stare blankly at a white monitor. He cracks his fingers over his head, counting every single pop as he bends a finger inward. As he blinks his eyes open, neck tilted to the side, a familiar face comes in sight.

Walking up to the counter is the same breathtaking man who caught his attention weeks prior. His mouth falls open as he watches. He looks just as unreal as before with his hair styled up in a similar manner, black button up closed all to the top, tucked into slim black jeans. Despite the cold, he is wearing a shorter coat than before.

He looks untouchable. The intensity so drastically counters the soft creams of his own sweater and light brown overcoat. If he were to compare them, just by visuals alone they wouldn’t even exist in the same vicinity. Their friend groups, interests, he guesses are miles apart.

All he wants is to find the man again, yet in his presence he’s stuck, tied down to his seat, mind only functioning enough to never take his eyes away.

By the time his thoughts cease, the man is walking away. Changkyun knows he needs to hurry if he wants to reach him. He places his laptop in the case along with charger and notebook, zips them all away in the black satchel and stands.

He takes rushed glances up at the door to see if he’s still there, wanting to make sure he doesn’t get too far out of sight, but he’s already exiting. The entryway stands empty. He curses before heading to the door.

He doesn’t run inside the store, but he rushes, apologizing to anyone he falls into amidst his exit. The glass door closes behind him, soundless, air preventing any slam. Just as quiet as the door is the empty street he walks out on. No one to his left nor his right. The grip on his bag tightens. 

Gone without a peep, again. And gone even faster than before. 

-

Changkyun sits on his bed at the end of the day, disappointed with himself. After his failure, he took in a mediocre dinner then attempted to find entertainment through television. All he found was the depressing information given from the news. A few tragedies are glossed over rather than added to the daily depressions, along with other locals stories that highlight the simplicity of the town. The words muddle together leaving him emptier than before.

After shutting off the screen, he lays in his room, unable to sleep. The room is cold, but he hasn’t bothered to go under the blanket unable to make the effort. He lays on top with chilled air nipping exposed skin. He grips grey satin sheets, soft fabric crumple together under his grip. The numeric tics of his wall clock are the only sounds that fill the room - they were something of a comfort before, but now it’s a pathetic attempt at occupying the space. 

He is alone - something he’s gotten used to in the three years he has been at university. There’s no one he thinks to call to go out for the night, accustomed to his lonely lifestyle. Even if he had the urge to be elsewhere, of everyone he has met, none are people he wants to be with. As much as he has engaged with other groups on campus, trying to befriend as many as he can to avoid the status of loner, he hasn’t connected with anyone enough to make them memorable.

But there’s a certain person he wants with him there, someone not in reach. Yet, he reminds himself.

He has seen the man twice, it has to mean something even if both occurrences he failed to approach him. Two spontaneous run-ins, there is certainly a possibility of a third. If only he knew who the man is.

Question after question pop into his mind. What school does he attend? Is he even in school? If not, what does he do? He amuses himself with scenarios involving the man in dangerous business activities. A multitude of shady jobs fit the tenebrous mien he presents. 

It’s enough to quirk up his mouth. A chance to imagine all sorts of new situations, then insert himself into them. How would he fit? Would this man even be interested in him? The more wishful part of him says yes, but perhaps it’s simply desperation.

By the time he falls asleep, he has a much more comfortable feeling in his stomach than the typical hollowness he feels on his worst days.

-

Changkyun wonders if the universe is actually telling him to stop. As it were throwing subtle hints to give up after dangling the man in front of him, then making him disappear without any indication he once was there. He can think of it as nothing more than temptation or a challenge. Will he give up even with all the times he attempts to meet the other have gone to ruin?

Not a chance.

He sees him a third time when Changkyun is out running errands. The man does nothing more than pass and Changkyun does nothing more than watch.

The situation is the same, he stands frozen in place. By the time he comes to, his frame vanishes. He more or less accepts his own failure, knowing he is the reason nothing has changed. Regret always makes an appearance.

It’s a cycle he can’t continue. He can no longer waste his opportunities. On the fourth time, he finally moves before it’s too late.

-

Changkyun’s taking a stroll on the east side of town. He’s visited yet another coffee shop, finding justification in his travels by saying he’s searching for the best beverage and not secretly hoping to stumble upon an ethereal figure. Not that he needs an excuse, there’s no one to hide that secret from other than himself.

It’s refreshing, seeing all the places he hasn’t been before. It’s as if another world has appeared, though the reality is he hasn’t gone more than 15 miles from where his apartment is located. Any previous trips he has taken were much closer. After he had found a place to his liking, there was no need to find anywhere else. Now, he can’t believe how much he has limited himself. Realizing how little he has explored since entering school weighs heavy on his mind. What has he done up until now? All of the time wasted. Unfortunately, he can’t go back and accepts that.

He thinks back to the early nights of school, where forced socialization prevailed. It gave him an excuse to go out with everyone on his floor. Sometimes it would be nothing more than eating noodles at a shoddy stand, but it was better than the empty nights he spends wrapped in a blanket, finding entertainment in counting the corners of his room.

He doesn’t want to go back to that. He has basked in the complacency of his stilled evenings - or rather given up thinking that there is nothing more. Now, he’s still adjusting to the changes in his routine, even finds himself nervous on occasion. His blood prickles up his arms at the thought of entirely rewriting the narrative which he’s placed himself in.

He walks out of the coffee shop, stomach filled and warm from the coffee and pastries he consumed. The fresh air takes him away from any of the previous, semi-bitter thoughts. He’s bundled up in a sweater, even then the chill air pricks at his cheeks. He doesn’t always enjoy the cold, winding up with chattering teeth, but this time around he’s pleased to actually feel.

With nothing left to do for the day, he’s prepared to head back to his small apartment, refusing to let any dejection settle over. Then, he spots him. 

Changkyun almost thinks his eyes are playing tricks, but there walking across the street is the exact person he’s been looking for. He walks head up, shoulders back, confidence exuding from the mere pose. He’s just as beautiful as every instance before, maybe even more so. Every time Changkyun lays eyes on him, his breath is taken from him.

For once, his mind is able to reel itself in. He needs to get closer. Before the man turns the corner, he crosses the street following his path. He walks a good few yards away, enough to keep him in Changkyun’s sight, but providing enough distance for him to stop and think about how to approach him. 

A few blocks pass and he inhales, prepared to say something after he turns the next corner, simply asking the time he settles on. Changkyun takes a hesitant step forward and blinks. Like a continuing nightmare, the other is suddenly gone. The entire block is bare, he turns right, then left scanning for anything and finds the walls turn into an alleyway. Refusing for it to end, he dares peek a head into it, being the only place he could have disappeared. 

He leans in, but gets no time to take in anything as he’s yanked forward off of the sidewalk. Changkyun is thrown against the wall. Every ridge of the tattered concrete pokes into his backside. It doesn’t draw blood, but it still hurts, making all the spots poked at throb. It takes a moment for his eyes to blink and see who pushed him. His breath stills.

Disappeared he had not but instead there he is right before him. 

Up close, he looks even greater than afar. He’s finally real, rather than a mist like dream formed in his imagination. He wants to take his time with every feature, admire all of the details right before him. His eyes are piercing and dark. He can feel the cold, the wariness that emanates from them. His lips are pressed tight, slightly chapped and unsmiling. Around them little birthmarks litter his face that he could have never been seen before with the distance. His eyebrows are furrowed over a sharp glare that sends shivers up his spine. His entire demeanor screams danger.

Changkyun swallows. His own eyes are blown wide, mouth agape unable to form a thought besides to look. His own survival instincts are on the frazzle, as he’s much more invested in admiring the face than acknowledging the malicious aura radiating in front of him.

“Why are you following me?” he asks. The voice is short, lacking any patience, but so so beautiful. He should probably be afraid of the curt tone, instead he’s intrigued. He wants him to stay around longer, listen to him speak longer. 

He pushes harder when Changkyun doesn’t respond. The hold on his collar sinks closer to his neck, he can feel the backs of fingers pressing into his skin. He’s cold, much too cold. Being bundled hasn’t done anything to block out the weather for him, leaving the appendages feeling like icicles. The pricks go deeper into his back, most likely wrecking his coat, but there is little he can do when the other is clearly stronger. He tries not to squirm at the uncomfortable sensation, wanting to have some piece of dignity while at a disadvantage. 

“Nothing to say, hmm?” he says as he bares his teeth. Clean, white, as expected from something with such a kept appearance.

He stays silent to the man’s displeasure. He watches as his eyebrows twitch, Changkyun knows he’s mad. He moves up his other hand to grab both lapels of Changkyun’s jacket, yanking him forward and throwing him to the ground. He’s not fast enough to catch himself, so his shoulder falls into the ground.

“I better not catch you following me again,” he warns.

He must have no interest in engaging Changkyun if he won’t respond. His eyes are still swimming from being tossed, but as soon as he sees the other turn away, he scrambles to stand.

“Wait!” 

He trips over his own feet falling back to his knees, but luckily the man actually stops. He barely looks over his shoulder, still wavering on whether or not he’ll stay, but he’s there. 

“I was following you, yeah. It’s just.” He struggles to find a way to word what he wants to say without scaring him off further, after all, their first official encounter isn’t going well. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“Why?”

Why? Changkyun still doesn’t quite know what to say to that. It’s been hard to think ever since he first laid eyes on the man. He mumbles a few first words, but nothing is clear enough to be distinguishable. He needs to get a hold of himself, as the other’s patience is running short. Changkyun can see his eyes narrow, pupils flickering back and forth between him and the road, ready to leave. A sense of panic settles in Changkyun’s gut, that if he doesn’t speak to him now, he won’t get another chance.

“You’re beautiful,” he blurts.

He can see the shake of his shoulders. It is small, most likely trying to keep some composure at the compliment. The man fully turns around, eyes trying to keep up the menacing look, but his ears have turned red and his expression is more bewildered than anything. He looks intimidating, tough enough to hold his own, but clearly flustered at the words. Changkyun wants to smile, but does his best not to.

“Excuse me?”

“You’re beautiful. I saw you the other day,” he lies delicately, “and I needed to talk to you.”

Changkyun stands finally. He gets no offer of a hand to help him but it’s fine, the man isn't leaving. He doesn’t step too close, still worried the other could attack him once more or just leave like he originally intended to, and that’s the last thing he wants. He pushes some hair behind his ear, then reconnects his hand lacing them together as a sort of comfort to his nervousness. He hasn’t looked him in the eye yet, but he feels the sharp gaze watch his every move, examining him like a test subject laid before him on a lab table. 

“I saw you today too. You disappeared so fast the first time, so I followed you.”

His words are out there, there’s no taking them back. He risks a chance to see what the other’s face expresses, if it’s disgust, well he just hopes he won’t get thrown again. As he peers up, the man looks confused. His lips are pursed, nose and chin scrunched adding lines to his smooth face. Changkyun can’t decipher what he’s mulling over in his head. He just waits, licking his lips hoping something will be said.

“So you’ve been stalking me.”

His face falls.

“I wasn’t stalking,” he defends. “I was just hoping to find a chance to talk to you after I found out where you were.”

“Stalking.”

“Fine fine,” he relents, not really interested in arguing over minor details. “I followed you. Whatever.”

“So you wanted to talk to me. About what?” the man asks, eyebrow raised high, still on the fence over this conversation.

Changkyun wets his lips with his tongue. The man follows the action, but quickly shifts his eyes back up.

“My name’s Changkyun. Would you maybe want to have some coffee sometime with me? If you’re not busy of course. Anytime, I’m free whenever,” he rambles. “I’m a uni student, but I’m flexible. I drink a lot of coffee too, but if you don’t want coffee that’s fine.”

There’s a short silence once he finishes, Changkyun desperately trying not to make more of a fool of himself while he waits. The man quirks up his lips. He hasn’t taken his eyes off of Changkyun, and while he himself struggles to hold the gaze, he wants to know what the other is thinking. Maybe if he actually meets his eyes he’ll get a sense of what’s on his mind, but he’s not brave enough. All he knows is he hasn’t been pushed or spit on, which he takes as a good sign.

“Changkyun? That’s what your name is?” He nods, shutting his mouth before he can say anything more. “Your invitation is certainly unexpected, so how about this. I’ll see you again.” He smiles and Changkyun knows it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. His face lights up, teeth shining bright visible from his mouth pulled wide. The other leans closer, his face moving centimeters away from his ear. “Only if you can find me again.”

“Deal,” he agrees without complaint. 

Over the past few weeks he’s made random stumbles upon the man, it was bound to happen again. He’ll make sure it happens. He’s been given a proposition too good to refuse. From the way the other’s eyes glints, Changkyun thinks it’ll be fun for the both of them.

“Done then.” He pats Changkyun’s cheek. His fingers are still cold, but he feels comforted after having been thrown, as if it makes up for it with a different sort of touch. The man starts to walk away, but stops at the edge of the concrete, before the street. “Oh, and don’t think of following me now. That doesn’t count.”

With a final wink he exits the alleyway and Changkyun releases the breath he has been holding. He finally had a conversation with the other. He can brush over the specifics now, what matters is they were close, in reaching distance. He spoke to him, even given the offer to meet again. Everything up until now wasn’t a dream, but he might replay every moment as he sleeps later that night.

“Wait, I don’t even know your name,” he shouts after he’s out of sight. It’s just as the first time he saw him. He’s gone without a trace, but everything is somehow okay.

-

There’s a new found excitement that comes about in his life after the meeting in the side streets, different from him simply getting out. It’s an ignited passion that he hasn’t felt since he first enrolled in university to study music. He isn’t sure how he’s going to meet the other again, since he’s basically at square one. He has a face, but no name. He has no real pattern to follow from all of the places he saw him, they all seem sporadic and random. 

A week passes and though he’s been walking around in his free time, the man hasn’t made another appearance. He hasn’t gotten frustrated yet, this was a challenge from the start. He wants to drop any distractions, but the real world has priorities. The nameless man may be a dream, but he can’t hallucinate enough that his reality topples, so he compromises. 

Any chance he’s free to walk, he does. His schoolwork is his only real priority, as he has yet to get a job, and he plans to keep that up. It’s been the only real thing he held onto in his time at school.

Another night he finds himself alone, day spent from morning classes then wandering the city. Recently he’s been getting an odd sense of fulfillment. Everything new is good for him. But not so much for his wallet. He’ll have to tone down some of his purchases, but he can still walk for free.

He just knows everything he’s done will be worth it. Even with all of the progress he’s made, he’s fixated on reaching the other man. There’s no real steps for him to follow to reach his goal, he’s simply doing.

He lays in bed, satisfied with his outings for the day. He’s showered, finished his general ed work, he just needs to sleep and he’ll find himself in a new day. His mind allows him a few minutes to think.

He goes back to the alley. Not at all the picture perfect scene he had wanted, not that he had expected that anyhow. But being thrown and threatened was nowhere near the top is his imagined meetings. How can an encounter be so horrifying, yet thrilling. 

He can feel the ghost impression of icy fingers lingering on his skin. It was only for a second, but he still imagines the smooth, cold skin against his own. He touches his hands to his neck, running them over until he's mirroring the hold near his collar. He’s not sure what he’s doing. Glorifying the meeting that left him shaking against a wall. 

Maybe he’s a masochist.

A tad obsessed, but the more he gets, the more he wants.

-

Another week passes, he heads out for lunch, routine outside of class smashed to pieces. He doesn’t stay on campus despite convenience. He’s gone searching a new corner of the town he’s never seen before. The school had been a safe haven, it took him long to realize he’d grown bored of it. 

Not every place is rousing, but there are hits and misses in all adventures. He tries a new restaurant, has his fill of savory beef and thanks the staff for a wonderful meal. He walks out feeling satisfied enough that he thinks he’ll return.

If he has to admit, the surrounding area is grimy. Litter is stuffed into the cracks of the sidewalk, piles out even more from the alleys. There are no children outside, as if the neighborhood is too potent for their young selves.

The daylight does nothing to make Changkyun feel at ease. As he continues, all the storefronts are bars or clubs. Groups stand in front as security guards watch over carefully when he passes by. He keeps his shoulders back, not wanting to appear vulnerable no matter how he shakes on the inside.

His eyes don’t linger on anything for more than a few seconds and he certainly doesn’t make eye contact until he’s at the end of the street. At the last red brick building stands a tall figure, someone younger than the clientele he’s seen back the rest of the way.

He’s pretty, if Changkyun could give any word to describe. The longer he stares even more so, an ethereal beauty as he leans against the wooden doorway. He’s licking a lollipop slowly between his teeth, pulling it out with a pop. Changkyun doesn’t realize he’s stopped until the face turns his way. Instead of being tossed a glare or snarl, the man gives a gummy smile pronounced by his soft cheeks and thick lips. 

He flushes, not expecting a warm acknowledgement. He gives a wave in response already prepared to walk away from the man. He’s intimidated by the other but not in a fearful way. He’s just embarrassed.

Rather than the empty sidewalk, he falls face first into the expanse of a well built chest. His hands shoot up, pushing away from the leather jacket as he prepares to sputter apologies, but he doesn’t get far as the man places wide hands on his shoulders. Eyes flicker back and forth between Changkyun and the man in the doorway, trying to decipher the scene with what’s presented to him. He swallows.

“Hyunwoo, no need to panic, it was just a friendly wave,” the angelic man breaks the brewing silence. 

The man grabbing him nods, then releases Changkyun from his firm grasp. He feels his clothes wrinkle from it.

“I didn’t mean to stare,” he speaks up to clear the situation. If the guy was being protective, he understands. There wasn’t any anger coming from the large man’s face, only suspicion, ready to protect someone bothering his apparent acquaintance. 

“Don’t worry, are you alright?” the voice comes out. It’s so much gentler than he could have imagined when he takes in account the sizable physique.

“Fine, just fine. I’m sorry for running into you,” he apologizes once more before turning back to the door. “And I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

The pretty man shakes his head and plops the candy back into his mouth. It moves to the side, filling in his cheeks as he speaks once more.

“You didn’t.”

Changkyun gives a tilt bow as to indicate he’s leaving, but is stopped as the door suddenly opens before he can walk away. All eyes shift over, out of the darkness comes a figure dressed from head to toe in black. 

Changkyun’s eyes bulge, as if he’s witnessing a miracle, maybe he is.

“I found you,” his mouth beats his mind for a reaction.

The looks are now all directed at him, but of the eyes he completely ignores two sets. He steps forward, but the man who had previously caught him follows his action, raising an arm to stop him from continuing. 

A flick of a hand calls him off and Hyunwoo, as he remembers, acquiesces.

“Technically you didn’t find me. I just happened to walk out at the exact moment you were outside the door.”

“Does it matter?” It doesn’t. At least not to him. There were no set rules in this game other than not to follow him the previous meeting. This is exactly how he has seen him every other time.

“Kihyun, do you know him?” Hyunwoo asks. He finally has a name. Changkyun swells at the new information.

Silence follows, because what is Changkyun supposed to say? That he’s a random college student who became enamored with Kihyun after having seen him walk by? Then proceeded to follow him into an alley where he was thrown against a wall and threatened. Kihyun debates, eyes shifting between the extra duo before speaking.

“My little stalker.”

Changkyun falters. Kihyun hasn’t forgotten him sure, but also surely hasn’t gotten over having been followed. Imagine if he knew when Changkyun actually saw him. 

He does note that Kihyun must have mentioned him to his friends. He could have completely ignored Changkyun, pretended he didn’t exist, but instead he choose to speak Changkyun into the existence of his world. He doesn’t want to overthink, but he wants to latch onto any chance to get closer.

“He’s cute,” the single nameless man comments.

The sentence gauges different reactions from everyone. Kihyun’s face falls, no longer teasing, his forehead and chin wrinkle up. Hyunwoo sports a similar look, though it teeters more dejected than angry. The quip has put not only them, but also Changkyun on guard. 

While normally he would become a sputtering mess, the comment itself embarrasses him little this time around. There’s no time to be shy as he’s more afraid of the storm stirring. 

Clearly unaffected by the thick atmosphere, the man continues. He strides over to Changkyun and Hyunwoo, planting himself between the pair, but he reaches for Changkyun. A hand runs over his shoulder and stops, making him tense. He has no idea what the man’s playing at.

“Not quite what I was expecting when you told us that someone had been following you. Maybe someone more threatening, not just a kid.”

“I’m old enough,” he defends before he can stop himself. Maybe he’s acted a bit irrationally the past few weeks, but he’s certainly not a child.

“Could have fooled me,” he shrugs.

Kihyun walks down slow, each step with a resounding noise. Changkyun gulps, unsure of what is coming next. He’s being stared down, like Kihyun has completely forgotten Hyunwoo and ?. He presses his lips tight when the man now stands only a foot away. 

“I think you owe me a coffee.”

Changkyun blinks, once, twice, before his face breaks into a splitting grin. He’s actually going to keep his promise.

“Can I pick the place?” he continues.

“You - you want to go now?” He can’t believe Kihyun is going to follow through with his word, and he actually wants it to happen now.

“Do you have somewhere else to be?” Kihyun quirks an eyebrow, like he’s daring Changkyun to risk this opportunity.

“No, I just wanted to,” he pauses. “Let’s go, lead the way.”

“Yeah, Kihyun, lead the way,” the original voice comes through. Changkyun suddenly remembers they’re not alone. He would have preferred to only be with Kihyun, but there is no way he is about to complain. This is the chance he’s been waiting for, he’d be a fool to waste it. 

Kihyun leads him to a modern coffee shop. The entire way he treads behind the trio, each of them say little to each other, but from their proximity while they walk, Changkyun easily notes they are close. Their shoulders bumped or arms rub against one another, snug as a puzzle. Thoughts of how he could possibly fit in that space fill his mind.

The menu is filled with not only a variety of beverages, but multiple display cases of cakes and treats. It’s beautiful, everything delicately constructed, but also expensive. He is currently on a budget from all of his outdoor activities, today’s meal was his one splurge. He purses his lips, squinting at the small numbers before he can help himself. Kihyun must notice his expression.

“Hyungwon, you two are paying for yourselves.”

“I’ll pay for you,” Hyunwoo answers, latching to the other, pulling him close. 

Changkyun is silently glad he won’t have to pay for extras. He looks at the prices one last time and settles on one thing.

“I’ll have an americano. Small.”

“That’s all you want?” Kihyun asks. 

“Yeah, not too hungry.” Which isn’t exactly wrong, he did have lunch, while he could fit in a dessert that looks more and more tempting every time he glances over, he can hold off.

Kihyun turns to the cashier, orders for himself a drink and parfait and Changkyun holds back the whine pleading to escape. It’s fine, he wants this after all. But he continues and adds an extra dessert. “And change the americano to a medium.” 

Before Changkyun can pull his card out of his wallet Kihyun is handing over his own. 

“No, wait,” reaching his hand out to grab his forearm and stop him. “I invited you,” he reminds. 

“I’m treating you, no arguments.” He finalizes, by his tone, Changkyun’s protests die. He follows the group to a table where they all sit, and he’s at a loss, guilty for making Kihyun pay.

“So Changkyun,” he likes the way his name rolls off Kihyun’s tongue. “Tell us about yourself.”

“What do you want to know?” he asks, thankful for the distraction.

“Anything.”

It’s hard to think with Kihyun’s watchful eyes following his every movement. He taps the table, licks at his lips, Kihyun’s eyes watch everything before flicking back up to his face. They’re just sitting in a coffee shop, yet he feels as if he’s being interrogated. Trying to remember back on how he introduced himself to his classmates, he gives the basic information.

“Well I’m a university student.”

“I can tell.”

“For music, composing specifically.”

It had been his dream, it’s a shame three years in it doesn’t quite feel the same. He refuses to let it go. Music had come to him naturally as a beauty mark from birth, but lately it’s felt more like a cyst in his side. 

“You write music?” Hyungwon stares wide eyed. It makes Changkyun nervous with how intrigued he is. No one has ever really been so interested in his work, well aside from professors, but even lately they tell him he needs to reach deeper, add something else to his pieces, because as they are there is no substance.

“Yeah, I compose mainly on a piano. And write lyrics.”

“Are you any good?” Hyunwoo asks. He doesn’t take it as an insult, but Hyungwon still smacks at his shoulders for his word choice.

“Got into the school on scholarship for it.”

Hyungwon seems to be the one asking most of the questions, but Changkyun doesn’t mind. He’ll take anything to keep the conversation flowing. He does want to ask Kihyun things, but he supposes it can wait, considering Kihyun wanted to hear about him in the first place.

He has little to say about hobbies and friends, but he brings up stories from grade school to how different things are at the university. He can’t really fake anything, so he speaks honestly without blatantly stating he’s a loner teetering towards the status of a hermit.

By the time they leave the coffee shop, a warm feeling expands in Changkyun’s chest, spreading throughout his entire body. He spent his afternoon not at all as he expected, another day outside of the norm. Meeting Kihyun, actually meeting him not just seeing him as a passing face is everything he wanted and more. 

Up close, Changkyun got to see him smile, hear his laugh. The mystery is still there, as he learned little about his aside from Hyungwon’s stories, but he’s real. 

Hyunwoo and Hyungwon walk ahead of him, get a bit too far for Changkyun to hear, but he’s focused on the figure beside him. Kihyun somehow ended up next to him and now walks slow alongside him. He holds his head high, every once and awhile he’ll turn to Changkyun, smile bright, eyes squinting. Changkyun’s heart starts to race, but still mimics the action. 

“I had fun today, Changkyun.” His voice is like honey. Changkyun could listen to him speak all day.

“I did, too.”

“Would you like to pick the coffee shop next time? Or should we do something else?”

Changkyun outright stares, not expecting Kihyun to have offered another meeting. Of course it’s what he wanted, but for some reason even after sitting next to each other for hours he still didn’t quite feel like it would happen. 

“Changkyun?”

“Huh?”

“Would you like to meet again?”

He’s nodding before he can speak. Kihyun’s grin returns.

“I was worried you didn’t want to for a second.”

“I do, I really want to. I just,” he hesitates, but continues. “I didn’t think you’d want to.”

“I sat with you for hours, even told you I had fun. If I didn’t want to be here I would have left hours ago.”

Changkyun can’t argue that, so he stays quiet. No need to endlessly worry over nothing. They walk him all the way to his neighborhood, he finds himself immensely pleased and safe. Another unexpected feeling from their day together, not only Kihyun but also Hyunwoo and Hyungwon have such a comforting presence.

Kihyun bids him goodbye with his phone number and a promise to see each other again. 

\--

They meet again and once more. Soon enough it’s two, three times a week they see each other.

The shift is subtle, but Changkyun continuously finds himself in Kihyun’s space. Their outings are mostly to lunch, dinner, occasionally just to have coffee. It’s so strange, irrational that he once thought the other was unreachable, but it gets to a point that they’re not only with each other, but closer to each other.

Kihyun initiates a lot of small skinship. When he gets embarrassed he’ll grab at Changkyun’s hands or shoulders. When he’s teasing, he’ll poke at his sides. Changkyun wonders if he even realizes he’s doing it, but avoids pointing it out, feeling glad that Kihyun is comfortable enough with him to be close. 

Changkyun is more conscious of his touch, not wanting to scare Kihyun away or make him uncomfortable. But on their walks home, sometimes he can’t help but reach for the other’s hands. The first time he did, Kihyun stopped walking and pulled away. His heart had dropped, worrying Kihyun would be done with him, but he reached back and lectured Changkyun on how he should ask for things like that first.

Their meetings continue.

They’re sitting in a well known skewer restaurant at two am. Changkyun was actually about to head to sleep, then Kihyun messaged and asked if he was interested in a very late night dinner. He is out of his pajamas meeting Kihyun downstairs in the next 10 minutes. 

They sit side by side rather than across. The place is more filled than he expected considering the hour, but it’s fine. There is no one paying attention to them, they’re seated in the corner, even with the sounds of the bustling restaurant, Kihyun is his only focus.

“What were you doing before I called?”

“Just watching some TV,” he sniffs, keeping his gaze on the menu. He doesn’t want Kihyun to think it was a bother going out when he should have already been asleep.

“Im Changkyun, are you lying to me?”

“What?” He takes a quick look away from the paper. "No?”

“Were you already in bed?”

“No, I wasn’t.”

Kihyun stares pointedly, waiting for him to admit the truth.

“Fine, fine I was laying down, but I promise I wasn’t actually asleep.” 

“If I’m keeping you up, you should let me know.”

“You’re not, even if you were, I’d much rather be here.”

Kihyun grins, pleased with the words.

“Good, because late night dinners are the best for my schedule.

\--

No matter how much time he spends with Kihyun, it never feels real. He comes and goes so quickly, a disappearing wisp in the wind. It reminds of the moment he first saw the other - when he had disappeared in a flash, leaving the boy to question whether or not he had even seen him at all. 

It has been two months, yet Kihyun still seems to be an unsolved puzzle. Every time they see one another, Changkyun wonders if it will be a day where Kihyun needs to leave him.

It doesn’t happen often, but there are times when the still mysterious man’s phone will ring, capturing his attention and the smile on his face will fade into a hardened mask which stays plastered as he answers and covers the bottom speaker with his free hand. He speaks in hushed tones, but ears still catch the harsh tone.

When he hangs up, Changkyun knows what’s coming, but it doesn’t make him any more ready to hear it.

“I have to go.”

No room for argument, only a meaningful goodbye, and then he’s gone. It happens too often for his liking, but there is not anything for him to do. 

It’s three in the morning, the pair coming down from their latest intimacy. Heavy breaths fill the air partnered with gentle touches, running hands over each other’s faces, shoulders, leading to their waists, locking on and pulling close.

Changkyun is so comfortable, they’ll clean up and fall asleep curled up together on the bed. Kihyun will wake up earlier than him, greet him with breakfast if there are enough ingredients in his kitchen. His eyes are already halfway to closing.

But then, Kihyun’s phone rings, waking him once more. 

He pulls away from Changkyun, repeats the same gesture he does every time. Serious expression, covers the phone, speaks curtly.

“You’re leaving?” asks after the conversation finishes. 

“I have things that need to be done,” Kihyun answers sitting up. He smooths a hand at the back of Changkyun’s head, runs it until he reaches his jaw. A few last touches before he leaves.

“Like what?”

“Just business.”

Vague. As he expects, but he supposes he can’t blame the other. Changkyun hasn’t bared his entire soul yet. There are still things he needs to be honest with, he makes a promise with himself that he will. He feels more connected with Kihyun than anyone before, but even then some things just don’t come up, don’t have a place to be said out of the blue. Whatever it is he has to do tonight is important enough that he cannot say, more confidential than Changkyun saying “I’m a college student.”

“I don’t want you to go.”

“I need to for now, but we can see each other tomorrow. We’ll go wherever you want. Probably not until evening though.”

His expression sours.

“It’s lonely,” he whispers before he can stop himself. He hears Kihyun stop moving, but doesn’t dare look back. It’s a slip of the tongue, not meant for the other’s ears. He wants to avoid sounding whiny if he can, not wanting a distance to grow between the two.

“Changkyun,” he calls. He hesitates on looking over, but eventually does meet Kihyun’s eyes. “I’m sorry for making you feel lonely, I’ll spend every second I can with you.”

“I want you here always.”

Maybe he’s being too much, but he can’t help himself. He finally has what he wants. Someone to breathe color into his life. He’s happy. He’s happy with Kihyun, because it’s him.

“Changkyuunie,” his chest swells just as another other time they’re close. Kihyun steps back onto the bed, cups his face with his hand, and Changkyun can’t help but put his own on top, basking longer in the touch. His fingers are normally so cold, but here they’re warm.

He feels the rest of his skin heat up, Kihyun leans closer, removing his hands to push Changkyun back against the bed. He falls onto the satin sheets, messy as they still haven’t cleaned up, but he doesn’t care. Kihyun head fits in the space above Changkyun’s shoulder until he feels the finally evened out air on his skin, tickling, ruffling his hair.

“I promise, I won’t let you feel lonely. You know how I can promise that?” Changkyun shakes his head, eyes never leaving his face. He can see Kihyun mulling over something in his mind, hesitating maybe how to word or even debating whether or not to take back his words. The look doesn’t suit him, Kihyun should always have the look of confidence he wears so well. “The second I saw you, I wanted you.”

In story books, when the author describes a character’s soul leaving themselves, a feeling of no other where something new is taken in, removing everything from before. He understands it in that second. Kihyun’s lips ghost over his jaw, he noses at his cheek as Changkyun takes in the words.

“I saw you before the day in the alleyway,” he continues, catching him off guard. Changkyun pulls away, eyes widening unsure if he heard right and finds Kihyun’s face red, the tips of his ears burning. “Just once,” Kihyun leans back in. He nips at the younger’s jaw, Changkyun shivers. “You were standing in the park off of 3rd, looking up into the streetlight.” He bites again, hands moving from his shoulders to his waist. “I don’t know what came over me, you looked unreal.”

Changkyun’s head goes light. Kihyun is here telling him a mirror description of how he felt when he saw Kihyun outside the record store. Maybe fate is real. Been toying with the both of them it seems.

“Hyungwon ruins everything of course, can’t help it. He called my name and I looked away from you, just when I turned back, you were gone.”

Changkyun melts against his mouth, luxuriating in every word, sound, that leaves Kihyun. His keeps whispering each time they separate, revealing his thoughts after seeing him, how he stayed on his mind for so long after, how being with him was greater than he could have ever imagined. 

Changkyun wants to say something back, how he feels the same way, how much he wants Kihyun here, how amazing everything feels in that moment. But he can only grasp on, count every second with Kihyun on top of him. By the time they’re done and he’s caught his breath, he thinks back on everything he was told. How real it feels. He believes him. 

Kihyun slips on his pants, this time actually determined to go. He buttons them closed walks over to Changkyun’s side of the bed. He feels the slumber in his eyes, coming so strong he’ll probably pass out the second he’s out the door. 

Kihyun smiles down, twinkle in his eyes before pressing a kiss to his temple. 

“I’ll always come back.”

-

When Changkyun opens his eyes from slumber, he doesn’t wake up the sight of his ceiling. It’s there but instead he’s on his side, head resting on his guest’s bicep, surprisingly firm for someone who looks so lithe when covered.

He lays on his bed, except this time he isn’t alone. The body next to him lays flat on his back, one arm resting on his stomach, the other well - under Changkyun. He basks in the warmth, draws in a little closer, rest and his own hand on Kihyun’s hip bone.

There isn’t only the sound of the clicks of his clock, instead the silence is filled with Kihyun’s light snores. They are soft, getting quieter as the sun rises in the sky. This peace, at one point seemed absolutely impossible for him. That his loneliness would have continued until he drowned in it. 

Kihyun besides him stirs awake, chin tilting down morphing his face into a pout. When he meets Changkyun’s eyes, the expression softens into a grin.

“Why are you awake before me?”

“Your snores woke me up.”

Kihyun flicks his nose with his free arm. 

“I do not snore.”

“Then why am I awake right now?”

With a glance at the clock, it’s 8 am. Not the latest, but Kihyun is usually up earlier, preparing for his day. 

“You must have been tired. I think your work is catching up to you.” Kihyun’s smile falters, still sensitive to the details of his busy lifestyle he realizes, so Changkyun continues. “But you’ll always have a place to rest here.”

He starts running his hand over Kihyun’s stomach, fingertips meeting the smooth skin.

“I have my own bed you know.” Kihyun lets it go.

“I’m aware, made acquaintance with it on more than one occasion,” voice smug.

“I’d say you know it very well,” satisfaction fills his words, the same as his own. Changkyun’s still stunned, having found someone so comfortable with himself, someone on an even wavelength. He wants to voice this out loud, and then some. 

“Thank you,” he settles on out of the blue. He knows Kihyun must think it’s random from the raise of his eyebrows. “For being with me,” he explains more.

“I think I should be saying that to you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I dreamt of you, thought I’d never seen you again, and now somehow you’re in my life.”

“I could say the same for you.” He had to be honest.

“I’ve always wanted you, Changkyun,” he nearly whimpers at the words. “And always will.”

**Author's Note:**

> Ta dah the end! I'm glad you made it and I hope you enjoyed;;
> 
> I want to keep writing, I have a few other MX fics started just no where near done... Please let me know how I did!!
> 
> I also spent so long writing this I just wanted to get it done ajdljdksjf it had been in the drafts for months :') I will fix any spelling errors I promise


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